My year in thoughts

Here's a nifty little thing that Facebook people came up with.

Unfortunately, I post lot so this is almost a book. But it's about what I'd type if I just wrote a blog, so read it anyway.

2 Months

It's been that long since I've seen Cameron in person. I've lived in our new apartment alone for a little over two months, and he's only lived in the apartment for about 2 1/2 weeks. That's so lonely sounding. I know it'll work out and that we're going to be together and everything great like that, but I suppose I'm just thinking out loud.

On a happier note, I am almost done with my 10th straight semester at UHD and I have one more left. I am almost out the door and I can't believe that I've gone so far. I still feel so young sometimes, and others I just feel like a world of time has been born and lived in the 5 years since high school.

I am supposed to be writing 3 different assignments right now, two of which are due tomorrow morning. But if I can just get these papers out of the way, I can relax and ace my finals.

I love being an older student at a school that is so close to Downtown. This alone fosters a kind of relationship with people I would have never dreamed of being friends or even acquaintenances with.

Anyway, time is running out and these papers won't write themselves.
Goodnight.

winter depression

I love Houston, but if it were at least cold it would work better. I'm super bummed and sleepy.

The time change means it should be cool.
My parent's good friend passed away yesterday. Cameron won't be here for Thanksgiving, and now we don't know when he'll be here. I have a bunch of schoolwork and just feel like I don't have the energy to do it.

I know I can, but I can't seem to get it going.

I'll work it out.

My brother

I know he has his problem, but he's my brother. He has the silly laugh that sounds like his voice is cracking. He'll help me with anything heavy or high up, because he's the only boy. He has tried to do many things for us, especially back in the day. One of the coolest things I can remember of him is when he was working at Spaghetti Warehouse and he bought us all great presents. He bought me a yellow discman and it was sooo cool. I still have it, and sometimes, friends will see it and ask, Why on earth do you still have that thing? And there are 2 reasons: 1: my brother gave it to me because he knew I loved music, possibly more than the other siblings. 2: I want to show to my kids. I need to save batteries and cd's so I can tell them it still works whenever this occurs.

I want David to be a part of my life for a long time, like my cd player. I want everyone to find their place and part in life, with or without a husband or wife. I want us all to find what we can that makes us happy and be healthy, and what I think would be a comfortable spot in life. When I'm forty, I want to talk to my big brother about my kids.

It's odd, to feel nostalgic about the future. Maybe it's nostalgia for the past, from seeing my parents' families. But in my thoughts, the future is better informed. Maybe that's what I'm overlooking. With all the information I have about my siblings, is this comfortable idealistic dream realistic? Or am I looking at the past with false memories or notions, thinking that they know all they need to and are still happy?

I know he can accomplish anything. He just needs to find what it is that he wants to succeed at.
I love you, David.

Getting nervous

I'm closing in on graduating next May and I'm totally excited. But I'm also nervous about finding a job. I feel that I'm capable, but I am just always worried that I'll be considered too young.

Is 23 too young? I remember that I read about a man who was a doctor at the age of 24. I was so impressed! I knew I wouldn't be a doctor, of course, but I have known what I wanted to be for the majority of my remembered life. I have wanted to be a book editor since the fifth grade. I want to do something to get those books out there. I want to send these books out to the world because I have always loved books. They affect so many people and I love that it can do so many different things in peoples' lives.

I will be applying to random writing places around town, but I really think Cameron and I could move to a city where there is a publishing house for me to work at. That's what I want to do in life, and I know I can do it. I also know that Cameron will be there for me and get me where I need to go. He's wonderful.

My dreams

Well I had planned on spending my senior year as being the Editor in Chief for the Dateline newspaper at my school, but this didn't happen.

But what this does mean is that I now have a better opportunity of getting a job earlier, which will make my transition into the workplace easier. I'm actually pretty excited about it. I'd love to find a job before I graduate, that way I'll have a better idea of what kind of work I want or don't want. I'm excited!!!

Plus that will give me some added experience to add to my resume.

I have nothing but positive thoughts for my future.

Austin Idiot

I'm sure this is topic is tired out already, but I am so disturbed by the Austin man who flew a plane into the IRS building. I read his manifesto and it's terrible, but I know at least a few people who share his feelings. The thing is, I was having a conversation with a colleague at my school newspaper, and I mentioned that Stack's daughter called him a hero. This man responded, 'He is.' I basically told him, What?! He said that he actually is because he did something he believed in. My response was, "If you're going to complain about something, either stop complaining and get used to things, or stop complaining and actually do something about it." To which this guy replied, "He DID do something about it!" My only response was, "I mean do something besides killing people who had nothing to do with your problems! Those people were just doing their jobs."

It's just frustrating because I know that some people are anti government, and I get it, but still. You don't kill people. That is not how people are born and raised. Maybe if you were going to war or lived in an old society, but not for tax problems. That's just lame.

People need to stay positive. That's the only way to get through. Forget about people like Stack, then find people at risk of this behavior and see if you can help them with their problems.

I just hate that this man decided to act in such a way that echoes one of the most terrible events in the country's history. Why echo 9/11? He wasn't just setting up a body count, he was trying to scare the shit out of people so they would have to deal with his problems.

As I haven't posted recently,

I think I shall. This post is just to say that I plan on writing more. This probably won't happen, but planning doesn't hurt. Not a whole lot has changed in the past year, but the biggest change is moving out of my parents house. I now live with my boyfriend and our friend, Jeremy. It's turned out to be a pretty good living situation. So...
I'm happy and that's great. But I'm in class.
I'll try to be on later.